Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Friends Lost and Found

You know how they say that time heals the wound but leaves behind a scar. I think there are exceptions. Or, may be, the scar is just imaginary sometimes!

Aruna and me were inseparable for 3 years. We spent most of our evenings together and most of our weekends too. Her parents would let her only to my house to spend a night and the same was with mine. Other than her I have never had a ‘night out’ or a night study session in any other friends’ house ever. She never ever spend, as much time she did in my house, in any other friends of hers.

Both of us met in our colony temple where we were forced to attend a ‘puja’ by respective mothers and we bonded the moment we met. We were a match made in heaven! You know the Parents knew each other, we met in a temple, liked each other kinda stuff ;). We were together all the time...evening walks, together to the temple, movies etc. We talked about embarrassing stuff, secret crushes, ‘Ahhhhh I love him’ kinda stuff, gossip, craft work, home work, assignments (we had quite a few subjects in common) and a lot of other girl stuff and shared all our secrets. We were possessive about each other.

I met her friends from college and she met mine. Her friends had become my friends too. And then, something went wrong between the two of us. I absolutely had no clue what and why? We just grew apart. We didn’t see that coming. It happened so suddenly that we didn’t even realize. I guess we were so possessive about each other that we started growing insecure as and when more people entered our lives. And for some reason we chose not to talk it out. We probably were scared to hurt each other…and we ended up doing exactly the same. Our friends noticed we had gone cold on each other but we didn’t act upon it.

Through the years we kept in touch, through calls and emails once in a while…but were very cordial and composed. 8 passive years have passed between the two of us. Two week ago she emailed me some of her latest pics and while I was seeing them I felt a deep pain in my heart. God I missed her. And I wrote to her all that I felt about us. It was like waking up from deep sleep. How I missed her through the year and how stupid I had been to just let go of our friendship and how much she had ignored me all these years. I poured in all my vent up feelings not expecting anything from her but just because I wanted her to know how I felt.

It probably was one of the best things I did. She wrote back a long email expressing all that she felt and it was exactly the way I felt. She was sorry that she let go of me without an attempt to question. She had the right to. It was awesome to know that we still meant to each other so much. We agreed that both of us were fools not to have kicked each other in the butt and say “What the hell do you think you are doing?” It was a miracle mail that we had exchanged. Since that day, we have been filling each other up with every single detail about our lives, our respective husbands and how we met them, our daily routine, pictures etc. Its exactly the way it was 8 years ago (except that we share woman stuff now not the girl stuff as much ;) ) We started off from where we left. And that I think is amazing. No hard feelings and no explanations. We are back with a bang!

Its nice that we all grow up. And it is important to learn as we grow. Its nice to be possessive about someone you love. But it is also important to know when to let the rope loose so that we don’t lose the person. That applies to everybody in our life. Today my relationship with my friends who matter and my husband is so strong that nothing or nobody can make me insecure.

Both, Aruna and me have realized this today and are in a much ‘better place’. The one thing I wish I could do today is hug her!