8 DONTS

[Written for You've Been Tagged!]

There are a lot of Do’s and Don’ts in life. My top 8 DON’Ts are:

1. Don’t burn your bridges.
It is a small world. You never know when again you might have to face an old employer or a friend. By burning your bridges you are only closing down on opportunities in life.

2. Don’t take a decision when you are confused.
When you are not sure which way to go don’t go. When you’re confused, step back, clear your mind, take some time to think, and then decide.

3. Don’t bring up old issues/problems when in an argument.
The key word is ‘focus’. Bringing up old issues will not solve your present problem. What’s over is a closed chapter.

4. Don’t ever stop communicating with your spouse.
Always talk to your spouse about your concerns and worries. It is important for a couple to share not only happy thoughts but also the fears. By communicating you will not only be happy but you will make your lives simple.

5. Do not make casual calls to your married friends after 9 pm and before 9 am.
Gossiping can wait until tomorrow. Don’t disturb your friend and his/her family between 9 pm. And 9 am. It is family time for them.

6. Don’t ever stop learning.
It is important to learn new things. It keeps you young, energetic and sane.

7. Don’t forget the lessons learnt.
We all make mistakes in life. But it’s important we don’t repeat our mistakes.

8. Don’t forget to laugh.Laughter sure is the best medicine.
A sense of humor will help you sail through the toughest of times.

Marriage vs Friendship

[Written for "You've Been Tagged!]

According to me friendship is a relationship based on respect and trust (Love OR Friendship?!?! ). Marriage is a lot deeper than that. A marriage involves commitment and need compatibility too.

A friend is one thing and a ‘best friend’ is another. I believe one can have more than 1 best friend and you are lucky if your spouse is also one of them. My husband and I are each other best friends. But we also have other best friends from the opposite sex.

It is unfair to expect your spouse to give up on the friends that he/she has made even before you knew him/her. You are really lucky if, after marriage you and your spouse become best friends. Your life will rock! But why should that change what you share with your other friend…irrespective of what sex they belong to.

Having said that, it is my responsibility to make sure that my friendship with some one of the opposite sex does not affect my marriage. Whatever the reason, I cannot let my marriage suffer. For me, marriage is a sacred relationship. I wouldn’t let anything in this world affect what I share with my husband.

It is sad that a lot of women and some men too are forced to give up on their friendship and their best friends after marriage. I wish every person realizes that friends are valuable and ‘best friends’, even more so.

Love OR Friendship!?!?

[Written for “You’ve Been Tagged!”]

According to me, Friendship is a relationship that is based on trust and respect. We meet a lot of people at school, college, work place, neighborhood etc. but only few become friends. That is because there is something extra that we have with these people. And there are some people with whom, even if we meet/talk after years, we feel like nothing has changed between us. That is because, irrespective of the distance and time, we still respect them and trust them. Sure respect needs to be earned, but if I respect someone but do not trust the person or visa-versa, it is not friendship that I share with that person.

Love is a bond based on friendship. I might not love every friend of mine but to be able to love someone it is important for me to be able to see a friend in him or her. Love for a person increases or decreases not with time or distance but with the trust and respect that I have for a person. I know I love a friend, when, I really cannot explain why!

Both friendship and love are important in a marriage, I believe, a marriage works best when there is friendship, love and compatibility. Never-the-less, if not great, it can still be good if there is friendship and compatibility. A lot of relationships work not necessarily because there is love, but definitely because of respect and trust.

It might take a lifetime to be able to love a person. But it is the friendship that makes the wait worthwhile!

I am lucky, like most others, that I did not have to compromise. My husband is my best friend, I love him, unconditionally, and ‘Thank God’ we are compatible. [Touchwood!].

Not Just A Name

(Written for “You’ve Been TAGGED!" )

I went through a phase, as a kid, when I wished my name was anything but Rachana. I remember once, as a little kid, saying to my dad, ‘It is a stupid name. I don’t know anybody with that name. Others don’t have it ‘coz it is not nice.’ He simply said, ‘Come and tell me this again a couple of years later and I will change it.’ He was so confident that I was going to grow up to like, appreciate and love my name. My paternal grandfather was a writer. He used to write articles, short stories and poems. That is why my dad named me Rachana.

Rachana in Sanskrit means ‘creation/literature.’ At a later age I used to get very excited to hear people on the radio say ‘rachana’ before playing every song (meaning lyrics by so and so). My family calls me Rachu and friends gave me various versions like Raach, Rac, Raccha and Channa. My name for any kind or form of correspondence was, is and will always be Rachana. And I like the feel of Vinay(my husband’s name) and the sound of Radhakrishnan( his last name) next to it. Hence Rachana Vinay Radhakrishnan. Its more than just a name. It reminds me of what I carry along as I go. It's my identity.

I believe that the name is a very important part of a person. It can affect the personality of the person to a large extent. A name is more than just a word or words by which someone or something is known. They make an impression the moment you introduce yourself, and, first impressions count. I want to give my kid(s) beautiful names (when I have them). I personally like them simple and short names.

Ps: I haven’t met another ‘Rachana’ till date.

Weird to be tagged

I read about this “weird game” on Seher's blog. Its funny and interesting. And I would do anything that’s fun, atleast once.

Rules : The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names.)

1. I am a cleanliness freak. But don’t care a damn about eating roadside food like pani poori, pav bhaji etc.

2. I never cut my nails real short. I maintain them and make sure they look neat and pretty but when of them breaks, I don’t cut the rest to make them the same length. The reason is what is weird: If I cut them short I start biting them. I did that a couple of times and managed to make my fingers look real ugly.

3. My mood swings. One moment I will make you have the laugh of your life and the next moment I can go into my shell making you wonder if you upset me by laughing. I have been working on this and am making quite a progress. Getting from weird to better.

4. When I am angry/frustrated/pissed off, I start cleaning. I start scrubbing the kitchen floor, vacuuming an already clean room, change bed sheets. I am a freak when it comes to neatness but when I am pissed off I am weird freak.

5. Sometimes my responses to what my husband says are really bizarre. My responses have nothing to do with what he says. Not even the same topic. Example: He says ‘Deepika looks hot in this video.’ And I say ‘when did you speak to him?’ or “I had a dream last night’ and I say ‘yeah, rice and sambar.’

6. I cry at weddings on screen. Even a lousy bad movie makes me cry if it has wedding scene in it. I get all mushy and sentimental and all that with anything that has to do with weddings. Before I got married I don’t remember crying at such scenes. I didn’t cry at my own wedding.

Tagging just 6 people is being unfair to the others. Everybody is weird in some way to or the other. So just join the game and make your list and post them.

Change? Right now?

This post is totally because of “You’ve Been TAGGED!” . If not for her thought provoking question I would have continued living thinking ‘I don’t want to change a thing in my life’. Thank God I am still evolving.

“What is that one thing that you would change in your life RIGHT NOW?”

Hmmmmm! Can I change 2 things instead? Please.

Thing One: Lose enough weight now so I don’t look chubbier than what I look now when I put on weight when I become pregnant.

I just can’t be determined enough to lose weight. I have been trying to lose weight for years now. I have given into various forms of exercises at different phases of my life. Walking, aerobics, swimming and yoga. Just when I get comfortable with bending and twisting my body I quit.

I am determined when it comes to anything else. Like, no eating chocolates for a month, not talking to that dame ever again, I am not gonna call him till he does, that is none of my business so I will keep away, I have my husband I don’t need yours…you see what I mean?

The last time I was determined to lose weight was 3 weeks ago (does that ring a bell?). It was my New Year resolution, so I religiously did yoga for 2 weeks. Even before I realized, I stopped.

Thing Two: I want to rise and shine!

“I will stay up all night, watch movies, have hot cocoa, go for a long drive and more… but please don’t wake me up for a romantic ‘let's watch the sun rise’ stuff. And honey, don’t get frisky before I have my morning cup” is what I told my husband when we decided to get married. He sooo knows it now I wasn’t kidding. And I realiz he wasn’t joking when he said ‘Sweetheart, in the night you might have to do all that watch movie with hot cocoa stuff alone.’ Within 30 mins after dinner he is in deep slumber. And he is so full of energy in the mornings.

I am so not myself in the mornings. I am cranky and become one of those people whom you wouldn’t want to recognize the night after. You put me to bed at 8 pm if u want, I still can’t wake up after 8 hours. If I have to wake up early, I rather not sleep at all. I so envy my husbands ability to sleep early and wake up early. I want to be a morning person too.

An after thought: What am I gonna do when I have a kid??? How am I gonna deal with all that potty training, giving it a bath, getting it ready for school, breakfast, lunch box and all that. OMG!!! What if I have twins the second time???

Is there some ‘am not a morning person but am a mother’ kinda help group I could join some day?