Friday, May 1, 2009

Marriage vs Friendship

[Written for "You've Been Tagged!]

According to me friendship is a relationship based on respect and trust (Love OR Friendship?!?! ). Marriage is a lot deeper than that. A marriage involves commitment and need compatibility too.

A friend is one thing and a ‘best friend’ is another. I believe one can have more than 1 best friend and you are lucky if your spouse is also one of them. My husband and I are each other best friends. But we also have other best friends from the opposite sex.

It is unfair to expect your spouse to give up on the friends that he/she has made even before you knew him/her. You are really lucky if, after marriage you and your spouse become best friends. Your life will rock! But why should that change what you share with your other friend…irrespective of what sex they belong to.

Having said that, it is my responsibility to make sure that my friendship with some one of the opposite sex does not affect my marriage. Whatever the reason, I cannot let my marriage suffer. For me, marriage is a sacred relationship. I wouldn’t let anything in this world affect what I share with my husband.

It is sad that a lot of women and some men too are forced to give up on their friendship and their best friends after marriage. I wish every person realizes that friends are valuable and ‘best friends’, even more so.


  1. "It is unfair to expect your spouse to give up on the friends that he/she has made even before you knew him/her."

    This is so unreal Rachana.
    cuz I have been face to face with a wife who has called up every parent of her husband's female friends and fed them with "she is trying to steal my husband" story and sadly ripped his relationships apart.

    it is a sad world.
    for marriage to survive. friendship has to be burned and buried!

  2. u r absolutely right............and i'm glad i'm lucky too!!!

  3. Very true - I agree with that 100%. You are also right to balance things out so it doesnt effect your relationship with your spouse.

    I would have done the same, but unfortunately, I dont have a best friend other than my husband. :)

    Thankyou so much for adding to the tag. I really appreciate it. :)

  4. Seher, I pity the husband of the girl who did such a thing. How insecure can she get?
    I dont think one has to giveup on friendship to work their marriage. But yes, a balance is what is important. I wouldnt want my husband to give his friendship more attention than our marriage and I wouldnt give my friend more attention than I would give my husband.
    It could be a sad world, but there are sensible people out there. It also depends on the kind of a person your spouce is.

  5. Aruna, no wonder we are happy souls!! :)Touchwood.

    Asma, It's ok not to have another best friend as long as your husband is your best friend :).
    And, you come up with such lovely interesting questions...I dont have a choice but tag on!

  6. Glad to have you on board. I like your lovely thoughtful posts. :)

  7. its okay to have a friend but there should be no secrecy when communicating with your friend