...yet again.

“I will write. I promise.” He said as the train started pulling out of the station.

She kept looking into his eyes holding back her tears.

“I love you!” he said and winked, casting a spell on her.

She skipped a heartbeat...yet again.

The Real Taste Of Life!

More than a decade ago, Zee TV used to play this ad at 8 pm during the weekdays. I was in class 9 then and I used to make sure I would be in front of the TV at that time to see this ad.
This has been one of my all time favorite ads. I like everything about it. It is so full of life. The jingle is catchy, video true to life. And the chocolate…ummmmmmm…it’s a piece of heaven. I love the way my teeth sink into it. The ad and the chocolate make me happy. Very happy. No matter how many varieties of chocolates I eat, nothing makes me as happy as a piece of Cadbury Dairy Milk.
Yummmmmmmmmm…..Asli swaad zindagi ka!

Am having a piece of it right now while uploading the video. Can you imagine how happy I am at this very moment :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MhY7RMzVnU

Not Just A Name

(Written for “You’ve Been TAGGED!" )

I went through a phase, as a kid, when I wished my name was anything but Rachana. I remember once, as a little kid, saying to my dad, ‘It is a stupid name. I don’t know anybody with that name. Others don’t have it ‘coz it is not nice.’ He simply said, ‘Come and tell me this again a couple of years later and I will change it.’ He was so confident that I was going to grow up to like, appreciate and love my name. My paternal grandfather was a writer. He used to write articles, short stories and poems. That is why my dad named me Rachana.

Rachana in Sanskrit means ‘creation/literature.’ At a later age I used to get very excited to hear people on the radio say ‘rachana’ before playing every song (meaning lyrics by so and so). My family calls me Rachu and friends gave me various versions like Raach, Rac, Raccha and Channa. My name for any kind or form of correspondence was, is and will always be Rachana. And I like the feel of Vinay(my husband’s name) and the sound of Radhakrishnan( his last name) next to it. Hence Rachana Vinay Radhakrishnan. Its more than just a name. It reminds me of what I carry along as I go. It's my identity.

I believe that the name is a very important part of a person. It can affect the personality of the person to a large extent. A name is more than just a word or words by which someone or something is known. They make an impression the moment you introduce yourself, and, first impressions count. I want to give my kid(s) beautiful names (when I have them). I personally like them simple and short names.

Ps: I haven’t met another ‘Rachana’ till date.

Just A Dream Away!

Every time I see him, I skip a heartbeat. I feel butterflies in my stomach every time I anxiously wait to watch him. When I hear his voice, the world around me comes to a halt. I cant hear my own heartbeat. He smiles and I go weak in my knees. Even while he is talking to others around him, he has my attention. I start feeling coy, mushy and like a teenager in love. The sheer sight of him makes me realize how much a woman I am. And my hormones play havoc just by thinking about him. And just when he looks right into my eyes (like in my screensaver now) my heart starts beating so fast I think I’m going to die.

Apart from being breath-takingly handsome and outrageous sexy he is genuinely talented, tastefully rich and extremely famous. That I guess makes him even more desirable.

Yeah people, George Clooney that is. No man has ever had that kind of an effect on me. Different men different effects at different times…yeah. But one man all this at the same time. No way!

I never quite follow his movies the first time coz I pay no attention to the story line. All I see is only him…his smile, his eyes, his walk... I love his interviews. His quick wit, sensitivity, his charisma, aura and style leave me wanting more.

George Clooney (ahhhhhh…I take his name and I skip a heartbeat) did propose to me once. Ofcourse in my dream. If he did that for real I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this. He said “I am tired of being just friends with you. You know I love you (and flashed that killer smile at me and said) lets get married.” I almost had a heart attack in my dream.

You know the funny part? I had this dream on my first wedding anniversary. In the morning, even before getting out of bed I told my husband about the dream and he asked me if I slept long enough to get married. I told him we didn’t get married but I had suggested something. I said, “Look George, I love you too. You are the only person I want to be with. Ever. But, I am not sure I want to marry you.”

Every time I see his picture I think, ‘George, you’re just a dream away!’

Weird to be tagged

I read about this “weird game” on Seher's blog. Its funny and interesting. And I would do anything that’s fun, atleast once.

Rules : The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names.)

1. I am a cleanliness freak. But don’t care a damn about eating roadside food like pani poori, pav bhaji etc.

2. I never cut my nails real short. I maintain them and make sure they look neat and pretty but when of them breaks, I don’t cut the rest to make them the same length. The reason is what is weird: If I cut them short I start biting them. I did that a couple of times and managed to make my fingers look real ugly.

3. My mood swings. One moment I will make you have the laugh of your life and the next moment I can go into my shell making you wonder if you upset me by laughing. I have been working on this and am making quite a progress. Getting from weird to better.

4. When I am angry/frustrated/pissed off, I start cleaning. I start scrubbing the kitchen floor, vacuuming an already clean room, change bed sheets. I am a freak when it comes to neatness but when I am pissed off I am weird freak.

5. Sometimes my responses to what my husband says are really bizarre. My responses have nothing to do with what he says. Not even the same topic. Example: He says ‘Deepika looks hot in this video.’ And I say ‘when did you speak to him?’ or “I had a dream last night’ and I say ‘yeah, rice and sambar.’

6. I cry at weddings on screen. Even a lousy bad movie makes me cry if it has wedding scene in it. I get all mushy and sentimental and all that with anything that has to do with weddings. Before I got married I don’t remember crying at such scenes. I didn’t cry at my own wedding.

Tagging just 6 people is being unfair to the others. Everybody is weird in some way to or the other. So just join the game and make your list and post them.

An Article and A Poem

Yesterday I got a lovely poem as a forward about ‘What a woman should have…’ by Maya Angelous . I liked it very much and started googling for more poems by the author. That is when I found out that this piece was actually written by Pamela Redmond Satran, has been making rounds in the internet since atleast 1998.

“30 Things Every Woman Should Have…” is a very interesting article written by Pamela Redmond Satran for the Glamour Magazine. Some of you must have read it already but couldn’t resist sharing it.


In the process, I also read a couple of Maya Angelous’s poems. Some are moving, the rest beautiful. I have posted below, one of her poems:


They Went Home

They went home and told their wives,
that never once in all their lives,
had they known a girl like me,
But... They went home.

They said my house was licking clean,
no word I spoke was ever mean,
I had an air of mystery,
But... They went home.

My praises were on all men's lips,
they liked my smile, my wit, my hips,
they'd spend one night, or two or three.
But...

Change? Right now?

This post is totally because of “You’ve Been TAGGED!” . If not for her thought provoking question I would have continued living thinking ‘I don’t want to change a thing in my life’. Thank God I am still evolving.

“What is that one thing that you would change in your life RIGHT NOW?”

Hmmmmm! Can I change 2 things instead? Please.

Thing One: Lose enough weight now so I don’t look chubbier than what I look now when I put on weight when I become pregnant.

I just can’t be determined enough to lose weight. I have been trying to lose weight for years now. I have given into various forms of exercises at different phases of my life. Walking, aerobics, swimming and yoga. Just when I get comfortable with bending and twisting my body I quit.

I am determined when it comes to anything else. Like, no eating chocolates for a month, not talking to that dame ever again, I am not gonna call him till he does, that is none of my business so I will keep away, I have my husband I don’t need yours…you see what I mean?

The last time I was determined to lose weight was 3 weeks ago (does that ring a bell?). It was my New Year resolution, so I religiously did yoga for 2 weeks. Even before I realized, I stopped.

Thing Two: I want to rise and shine!

“I will stay up all night, watch movies, have hot cocoa, go for a long drive and more… but please don’t wake me up for a romantic ‘let's watch the sun rise’ stuff. And honey, don’t get frisky before I have my morning cup” is what I told my husband when we decided to get married. He sooo knows it now I wasn’t kidding. And I realiz he wasn’t joking when he said ‘Sweetheart, in the night you might have to do all that watch movie with hot cocoa stuff alone.’ Within 30 mins after dinner he is in deep slumber. And he is so full of energy in the mornings.

I am so not myself in the mornings. I am cranky and become one of those people whom you wouldn’t want to recognize the night after. You put me to bed at 8 pm if u want, I still can’t wake up after 8 hours. If I have to wake up early, I rather not sleep at all. I so envy my husbands ability to sleep early and wake up early. I want to be a morning person too.

An after thought: What am I gonna do when I have a kid??? How am I gonna deal with all that potty training, giving it a bath, getting it ready for school, breakfast, lunch box and all that. OMG!!! What if I have twins the second time???

Is there some ‘am not a morning person but am a mother’ kinda help group I could join some day?

Contented Ambition

Someone once said… “If you are contented you cannot be ambitious.”

People struggle all their lives to achieve their goals one after the other. Sometimes the goals that have been set for them by others (peers, family, society, competitors). They run the rat race everyday only to see that someone overtook them when they stopped to take a breath. When they do this day in and day out, nothing else matters. They want to achieve everything. They want everything they set their mind and heart on. Money, Power, Fame, Position, Recognition. Sometimes wine and women too!

They become so busy and obsessed with their work that they don’t realize there are people they are taking for granted. There are wives who are expected to understand when the husband does not make it to a family dinner because he is busy making a deal. Daughters who are expected to be happy with a Barbie because daddy could not stand by their side while making their birthday wish. Sons, on sports day, are expected to understand that papa is making money to buy him a new cricket bat.

Is having a great office, an obedient staff and a set of loyal customers enough to make you happy? Especially when you always want more. Nothing is ever enough. There is always more to ‘so much’. It’s nice to be ambitious. But it is important to stop and appreciate life. What’s the point of running a race that will never end? Even if it does, even before you celebrate your victory you are preparing for yet another race.

So stop. Look at what you have. What you really have. Your loved ones, the ones who wait for you patiently. The ones who are getting used to being taken for granted, by you. If you really love someone, do not take them for granted. By doing so you are only disrespecting them.

I am ambitious. Ambitious about keeping my husband happy and being happy myself, all the time. If I can sleep well and wake up smiling every morning I know I have achieved my goal.

If you don’t enjoy the very moment you live in there is no point planning for tomorrow. Tomorrow you cannot avoid. Yesterday you cannot change. All you have control over is NOW. Live in the moment. Smile. Be contented.

Love!!!

Love is like a child…
-innocent and pure.
It smiles when you smile at it,
...weeps when you ignore it.
Take it into your arms and see it surrender,
Treat it with care and
Your life is a Wonder!

Love needs to be nurtured. Don’t just say it…show it. As often as you can.

A Strange Encounter

She was sitting on the window seat, next to me in the bus. She waved to an elderly man from the window. The bus started pulling out of the stop and everybody started settling down in their seats. It was a chilly Sunday evening sometime in January 2006. ‘Do you mind if I draw the curtains close…the light of the traffic scares me’ she said. I smiled and said, ‘Sure. I prefer it that ways too.’ ‘Thanks’ she said and turned her head away facing the thick drape covering the huge glass window.

I used to work in Hyderabad and Vizag is my hometown. I used to take the bus back after my trip home because it used to save me a lot of time when compared to a train. They started playing some telugu movie in the bus. I didn’t want to watch the movie and neither could I sleep, so I started listening to some music on my mobile with my eyes closed. I suddenly felt a tug on my right sleeve. I opened my eyes, removed my earphones and turned towards the girl.

“Sorry to disturb you” she said.
“That’s ok. You want something?” I said.
“Actually…what is your name?
(Her name I can’t recall.)
I am from Vizag. You?
Oh! You work in Hyderabad?”

She was being sent to Hyderabad by some consultancy for training. After 3 months of training, if she makes through the interview she could get a job. I realized at that point that it must be one of those small time so-called-offices that would take money from people and make vague promises about vague jobs. And the not-so-smart or people desperate for jobs were their targets.

She did look like a very innocent and a docile girl. Must be 22-23. She told me she had never attended any interview before, was travelling alone for the first time and had never been to Hyderabad before.
“No wonder you look so nervous” I said smiling.
“I hope I get a job. I need it very badly.”
“Sure you will. Relax and don’t be so nervous.”

After a couple of seconds…

“You are married or single? She asked me.
“Single.” I said.
“Oh! I am married. And I have a daughter. She is six months old.”
“Wow. Where is she? You are not taking her with you?”
“No. I left her with my parents. That man who came to see me off is my father. I am the only child of my parents. My husband is in the merchant navy.”
“You know you are very lucky that you are not married” she added.
“Haaa haaa…I know”, I said not realizing that there was a kind of genuineness in her tone.

What she told me after that left me speechless. Literally.

“My husband beats me whenever he is at home.”

I didn’t know why she was telling this to a total stranger and what I was supposed to say. Nevertheless she continued speaking…

“…he is an only child and both his parents died before we were married. He is home six months and sails six months. I am scared all the time when he comes home. He drinks and beats me up. He does not allow me to stay with my parents even when he goes off.”

“Do your parents know this?” I inquired in shock.
“I never told them. They know from some bruises my mother saw. But I never admitted it to them.”
“But why? They need to know. They will be able to help you nah…”
“They are very old and I am scared of hurting them. They got me married even before I completed my graduation thinking that it was a good match.”

“Don’t mind but why are you telling me all this? You don’t even know me.”
“I just want to tell. I don’t know why, But if you want me to stop I will.”
“But let me know how I can help you.”
“No no. I don’t want any help from you. Really. I just want to talk.”

I turned to face her, and put my hand on hers, that was resting on the armrest between our seats.

“He just went back last month and he does not know I am going for this training. When I get a job I will come off here with my daughter and parents.”
I saw her wipe a tear. I gave her my water bottle and she took a long swallow. I seriously had no clue how to react. All I could do was listen to her.

“Once he took me to the beach road for a drive, and drove back alone leaving me there. It was 11:30 in the night. I took an auto and went home. One time, he took me to ‘Gnanapuram smashanam’ (a particular graveyard in Vizag) pulled me out of the car and asked me to go inside and come back. He threatened to tell people that I had an affair or that I tried to kill him or that he will kill me if I did not do what he asked me to do or if I told anybody about all this. At one point I also asked him to give me a divorce if he did not like me. He said he enjoyed torturing me so he would never divorce me. I don’t have the strength to fight him. I am now scared he will treat my daughter also like that. ”

The bus stopped at a roadside dhabba for dinner. The lights were on and she suddenly stopped talking. I wanted to go to the washroom and asked her if she wanted something from the dhabba to eat. She refused. After 10 minutes I went back to my seat and I saw her recline on her seat and her face covered with the small blanket they give in the bus. Was she silently crying? I didn’t know. But I knew she was suffering. Hurting. Silently.

I couldn’t sleep all night. I have known men who beat their wives and feel macho about it. I could never ever respect them. But this was somehow different. This girl so blatantly accepting she couldn’t fight nor confide. Confused, scared and helpless how was she going to get through all that? I felt like giving her a good shake and saying “If this is all true why the hell are you taking it?”

Early next morning, as my stop approached, I woke her up and gave her my number before getting down from the bus.

I never heard from her. I don’t know if she got a job. I don’t know if she told her parents about her suffering. I don’t know if she fought against that monster of a husband. I wonder if I helped in anyway by just listening to her that night.

I think of her often and hope is in a better place now.

Random pop-up's.

Why is honeymoon called so?
Why do people make us angry?
Even worse…why do people get angry?
Does everybody have a soulmate?
Why don’t we laugh as much as we did as kids?
Why does a clock ‘tick-tock’ and not ‘ding-dong’?
Can one really ‘forgive and forget’?
Is there a selfless deed?
How long is forever?
Does ‘love at first sight’ last?
Why do we have so many questions?

These are just a few questions that keep popping up in my mind every now and then.

BTW- Why do we refer to God as ‘HE’?

My list of 5's.

As the Brand New Year makes an entry most entertainment channels are talking about a list of ‘Top 5’s’ of 2008. Hmmmmm,…what are my list of ‘top’s’ of 2008?

5 songs I listened to the most:
Tum se hi – Jab We Met
Bakhuda tumhi ho - Kismat Konnection
Kahin na laage mann - Kismat Konnection
Sinbad the sailor - Rock On!
Tere Sawalon ke woh jawaab – Manorama Six Feet Under

5 most unbearable songs:
Bull it’s possible –Mission Istanbul
Jab phon ki ghanti – Hello
Suno Na Suno-Love Story 2050
Jee Karda re jee karda – Sing Is King
Dard-e-disco – Om Shanti Om
And ofcourse every single song sung by Himesh Reshamiya.

5 movies I enjoyed:
Ratatouille
Devil Wears Prada
Mamma Mia!
Rock On!
Dostana

5 ‘faaaltu’ movies:
Kismat Konnection
Supar Star
Rama Rama Kya Hai Drama
Welcome to Sajjanpur
Sunday (The telugu version was nice though)

5 books I enjoyed the most:
Sein language - Jerry Seinfeld
Lost in Translation – Charlie Croker
Spouse – Shobha De
The Pilot’s Wife – Anita Shreve
Body Surfing – Anita Shreve