...not yet

She kept telling herself that it was all over.
...that she had to let go...that he didn’t love her anymore.

But she kept remembering his face, his smile and his voice. She remembered the way he touched her cheek and the way he played with her hair.

She knew she had to get over him, that she had to move on. But then she realised she wasn’t ready...not yet.

The A to Z Meme

A
• Are you available? Absolutely not.
• What is your age? I feel young so the number doesn’t matter.
• What annoys you? Emotional blackmailing.
B
• Do you know anyone named Billy? No
• When is your birthday? 2nd of July
• Who is your best friend? Aruna to name one.
C
• What's your favorite candy? I don’t like candy.
• Crush? None at the moment
• When was the last time you cried? I think 2 months ago. I don’t remember why.
D
• Do you daydream? Of course!!!
• What's your favorite kind of dog? Golden Retriever
• What day of the week is it? Sunday
E
• How do you like your eggs? Omelet
• Have you ever been in the emergency room? Not as a patient but was there when my brother had an accident.
• Ever pet an elephant? Yes.
F
• Do you use fly swatters? Nope.
• Have you ever used a foghorn? Nope.
• Is there a fan in your room? Nope.
G
• Do you chew gum? Yup!
• Do you like gummy candies? Nope.
• Do you like gory movies? Nahhhhhh…
H
• How are you? Awesome!!!
• What's your height?. 5 feet 2 and a half inches.
• What color is your hair? Black with streaks of brown.
I
• What's your favorite ice cream? Belgium Dark Chocolate (slurp… slurp…)
• Have you ever ice skated? Nope.
• Ever been in an igloo? No.
J
• What's your favorite Jelly Bean? What’s that?
• Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke? Lots of them
• Do you wear jewelry? Sometimes.
K
• Who do you want to kill? Nobody.
• Have you ever flown a kite? Yes.
• Do you think kangaroos are cute? Yeahhhh…
L
• Are you laidback? I don’t think so.
• Lions or Tigers? Tigers
• Do you like black licorice? No.
M
• Favorite movie as a kid? I don’t remember
• Ever shopped at Moosejaw? No.
• Favorite store at the mall? Lifestyle stores
N
• Do you have a nickname? Chubby, Tripper, Rach…
• Whats your favorite number? 2
• Do you prefer night or day? I am a nocturnal being.
O
• What's your one wish? Stand at the Eiffel Tower and look up at it when the lights lit up.
• Are you an only child? Nope. I have a little brother.
• Do you like the color orange? Nahhh…
P
• What are you most paranoid about? Cleanliness
• Piercings? 2 on each ear.
• Do you know anyone named Penelope? No.
Q
• Are you quick to judge people?
No• Do you like Quaker Oats? Oh yeah. I have it every other day for breakfast.
• Know anyone that makes quilts? No
• Do you think you're always right? No.
• Do you watch reality TV? Sometimes.
• Reason to cry? Women don’t really need a reason to cry.
S
• Do you prefer sun or rain? Sun
• Do you like snow? Yes
• What's your favorite season? Spring
T
• time is it? 9:31 pm• What time did you wake up? 6 am
U
• Can you ride a unicycle? No.
• Do you know anyone with a unibrow? Yeah.
• Uncles do you have? Yes
V
• What’s the worst vegetable? I love vegetables.
• Did you ever watch Veggie Tales? ???????
• Ever considered being vegan? Nahhhh…
W• What's your worst habit? Obsession with cleanliness I guess.
• Do you like water rides? Ohhhh yeahhhhh….
• Ever been inside a windmill? No.
X
• Have you ever had an x-ray? Yes.
• Ever used a Xerox machine? Yes
Y
• Do you like the color yellow? Shades of it.•
What year were you born in?: Haaa haaaa…smart one.
•Do you yell when you're angry? No. I find sulking more satisfying ;)
Z
• Do you believe in the zodiac? A little.
• What's your zodiac sign? Cancer
• When was the last time you went to the zoo? 2 years ago. Indira Gandhi zoological Park in Hyderabad.

Dont Be Lazy

People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy.

-Bob Hope -

The 29er Meme

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Credit card bills.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Last week at home. My hubby made noodles and we had it out of a big bowl. Its amazing how sometimes the simplest of things make you feel special.

3. How many colleges did you attend?
Two. (Graduation and Post graduation)

4. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Coz I feel damn comfortable in it. I bought it for 70 Rs a year ago.

5. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
“It’s already time to wakeup?!?”

6. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
“I hope I feel better tomorrow morning.”

7. What do you miss being a child?
Innocence. Experience ruins it all.

8. What errand/chore do you despise?
Ironing clothes.

9. Have you found real love yet?
Oh yeah! I am married to him.

10. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
I have never been to a Wal-Mart.

11. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No way! I think marriage is an important and a sacred ritual.

12. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
GEORGE CLOONEY

13. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Thankfully no!

14. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
All of it. I have never been there.

15. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Nahhh…I am in a relationship I wouldn’t want to change for anything. And I have my priorities set and career is not on the top of the list.

16. Do you have a “go to” person?
Yes. My husband.

17. Are you where you want to be in life?
I am on the right path to where and what I want to be .

18. Over the years, what about you do you think has changed the most?
What has changed the most is the way I look at life and how I handle it. As I grew up I realized that life as simple as one keeps it.

19. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life?
High school was great but not the best years of my life.

20. Are there times you still feel like a kid?
Of course! A lot of times :)

21. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?
I did not hang out when I was a teenager.

22. Who do you think impacted your life the most?
Someone from my past I dont want to talk about.

23. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
No. Never have been in a situation that needed someone to stand out for me.

24. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age”?
No.

25. What is the scariest thing that has happened to you as an adult?
Sometimes I have nightmares. They are scarier than reality.

26. What advice would you give to someone about to get married?
Always communicate with your spouse.

27. What advice would you give someone starting their first job?
Respect your work and make sure you enjoy what you do.

28. If you could go back and change one thing you did, what would it be?
It sounds cliché but I don’t want to go back and change anything.

29. If you could go back and change one thing someone else did, what would it be?
Too many things here ;)

Am Sleeping All Day

I have been a mess for a week now. I have been terribly weak with no energy to even make a cup of tea. My medical reports are normal, which is good, but I don’t know what’s causing the weakness. All I have been doing is just sleep all day. Reading even a few paragraphs is like a big task.

I am too tired to write anymore than this. So, until I feel better, I will follow my doctor’s advice and sleep.

8 DONTS

[Written for You've Been Tagged!]

There are a lot of Do’s and Don’ts in life. My top 8 DON’Ts are:

1. Don’t burn your bridges.
It is a small world. You never know when again you might have to face an old employer or a friend. By burning your bridges you are only closing down on opportunities in life.

2. Don’t take a decision when you are confused.
When you are not sure which way to go don’t go. When you’re confused, step back, clear your mind, take some time to think, and then decide.

3. Don’t bring up old issues/problems when in an argument.
The key word is ‘focus’. Bringing up old issues will not solve your present problem. What’s over is a closed chapter.

4. Don’t ever stop communicating with your spouse.
Always talk to your spouse about your concerns and worries. It is important for a couple to share not only happy thoughts but also the fears. By communicating you will not only be happy but you will make your lives simple.

5. Do not make casual calls to your married friends after 9 pm and before 9 am.
Gossiping can wait until tomorrow. Don’t disturb your friend and his/her family between 9 pm. And 9 am. It is family time for them.

6. Don’t ever stop learning.
It is important to learn new things. It keeps you young, energetic and sane.

7. Don’t forget the lessons learnt.
We all make mistakes in life. But it’s important we don’t repeat our mistakes.

8. Don’t forget to laugh.Laughter sure is the best medicine.
A sense of humor will help you sail through the toughest of times.

...love like

She sat looking into the sea, her eyes searching for something...perhaps an answer or a sign.

The wind blew her hair across the face and reminded her of the time he said “You have lovely curls” as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Something that fell in her eye reminded her of how he used to look into her eyes endlessly and say “your eyes speak more than you ever can.”

The sound of the waves reminded her of the moment when he whispered “I love you” in her ear in the middle of the road.

She frowned. Sometimes she hated her ability to remember details.

She looked down at the bunch of cards she was holding. He had given her for Valentine’s Day. 14 of them.

“1 for each day” he had said.

She read them all over again. The peacock feather he had once given her slipped out of one of the cards. She smiled to herself again only this time she felt a tear trickle down her cheek.

She took a long deep breath and stood up. With her eyes set on the horizon she thought, ‘Beautiful illusion...love like!’ before turning back and walking away.

It's Him Again

Last night I met him again. I was boarding the train to Vizag, my hometown, and I saw him making his way through the luggage in the compartment. He was politely smiling at all the teenage girls and ladies who were gasping at the very sight of him. He was wearing light brown trousers and a black t-shirt. I followed him across 3 compartments. He sat on his berth and noticed me standing there with thousands of words in my eyes. He smiled at me and I died.

Everybody in the train was staring at him, their eyes popping out but he seemed to be unaffected by the attention. I wanted to talk to him, wanted to touch him once, hold his hand and have endless conversations. I just wanted to drown in his eyes. It really didn’t matter how he felt about me. I was awestruck by his very presence.

It was as if my prayers were answered. He looked into my eyes and flashed his killer smile. His smile said he could read in my eyes how much I adored him. He said “why don’t you join us” and made space for me to sit next to him. I sat down still not able to believe that my dream was coming true.

In no time, we started talking as if we have been doing so for years. We were laughing, sharing ‘chai’ from the same cup (how romantic!), taking pictures and pulling each other’s leg. And I somehow convinced him to stay over at my place while he was in Vizag. He said he would do so only if I promised to show him around the city and be with him as long as he was there.

We reached home and I introduced my family to him and everybody was more than thrilled to meet him. My dad even shared a drink with him. After dinner just when I was about to kiss him goodnight I heard a voice say, “Baby, its 6 o’clock. Don’t you want to wake up?”

“We were so close” I said smiling impishly, still lying in bed and my husband immediately knew who I was referring to.

“ Ohhh…what did he say this time?” he said laughing.

I sat up in my bed and thought, yet again, “George, you’re just a dream away!”

Sunday Stealing: The Twenty Firsts Meme

First Job: A tele-marketing executive at the WelCome Group [Grand Bay, Vizag]

First Real Job: Analyst at Deloitte for the Knowledge Methods and Support Team.

First Favorite Politician: P. Chidambaram

First Car: Yet to own

First Record/CD: Nursery Rhymes by Preeti Sagar

First Sport Played: Volley ball

First Concert: Euphoria

First Foreign Country Visited: Nepal

First Favorite TV Show: Malgudi Days

First Favorite Actor: Shah Rukh Khan

First Favorite Actress: Sridevi

First Girlfriend/Boyfriend: “Devil” (That was the code name)

First Encounter with a Famous Person: None yet

First Brush With Death: Thankfully haven’t experienced any. If I have to it rather be the real deal.

First House/Condo Owned: A 2 BHK apartment in Vizag (my hometown)

First Film Seen: ‘Chinnari Chetana’ Telugu 3D movie. I was 4 or 5 years old when I saw it. It was a 3D movie and that being my first movie I thought one always needs to wear the 3D glasses in theater.

First Favorite Recording Artist: “ABBA”. The music of ABBA was also one of the first that I remember listening at home.

First Favorite Radio Station: The All India Radio. It still is one of my favorite's. It is one radio station that hasnt changed in years and I love it for that.

First Book I Remember Reading: I don’t remember the name of the book but I remember it was a small story about a fox and a hen. I had it for many years.

First Meme You Answered on Your Blog: The Twenty First’s Meme

********Grab the list and make your list of your Twenty Firsts.********

Marriage vs Friendship

[Written for "You've Been Tagged!]

According to me friendship is a relationship based on respect and trust (Love OR Friendship?!?! ). Marriage is a lot deeper than that. A marriage involves commitment and need compatibility too.

A friend is one thing and a ‘best friend’ is another. I believe one can have more than 1 best friend and you are lucky if your spouse is also one of them. My husband and I are each other best friends. But we also have other best friends from the opposite sex.

It is unfair to expect your spouse to give up on the friends that he/she has made even before you knew him/her. You are really lucky if, after marriage you and your spouse become best friends. Your life will rock! But why should that change what you share with your other friend…irrespective of what sex they belong to.

Having said that, it is my responsibility to make sure that my friendship with some one of the opposite sex does not affect my marriage. Whatever the reason, I cannot let my marriage suffer. For me, marriage is a sacred relationship. I wouldn’t let anything in this world affect what I share with my husband.

It is sad that a lot of women and some men too are forced to give up on their friendship and their best friends after marriage. I wish every person realizes that friends are valuable and ‘best friends’, even more so.